袮本來可以輕蔑待我,但是袮卻帶著恩賜接近我

當世上的宗教或道德體系不斷想以人的行為來自救(其實是自欺),並且將人腐朽不堪的行為不當地放大甚至誇耀的時候,基於聖經真理的基督信仰卻告訴人一個完全相反的概念:人想要自救的行為跟自我誇耀是愚昧的。還沒有被重生的人竟看不到自己內心的腐敗不堪。而當他被神的聖靈重生,他省察自己的內心深處,會發現自己的心是如此的滿目瘡痍,腐敗不堪,我們能拿這些跟完全聖潔的造物主上帝誇耀嗎?豈非可悲,可笑。

一個被重生的人,會對己罪有認知及真誠的憂傷痛悔,並且承認除了祂的恩典,別無拯救。一個重生的人,會跟奧古斯丁一樣發出這樣的呼求。主啊,我向你呼求,我必須承認我的罪,我無法與袮爭辯,再也無法自我欺騙,我只不過是不配的塵土灰燼,但袮卻以恩典待我這般內心污穢的罪人,赦免我。

奧古斯丁以優雅的文學道出蒙恩罪人的心扉,令人深深共鳴。在這個不想面對罪,靠自己誇耀自己,不要恩典的膚淺世代,這樣的提醒是需要的。
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Narrow is the mansion of my soul. Enlarge it, so that You can enter. It lies in ruins. Repair it. I know and confess that You will find corruption there that is offensive to Your eyes. But who else shall clean it? To whom can I cry except You? Lord, scrub away my secret faults. Save Your servant from the power of the enemy. Since I believe You, I call to you, Lord, for You alone know.

Haven’t I given testimony of my sins to You? Haven’t You forgiven the wickedness of my heart? I don’t argue with Your judgment, for You are Truth. I fear my own self-deception, for my corrupt heart lies even to itself. I offer no defense against Your judgment, for if You, Lord, Kept a record of sins, who could stand?

And yet…although I am only dust and ashes, allow me to testify of your mercy. Allow me to speak, for I am addressing You in Your grace, and not men in their contempt. It is You who should treat me with distain; instead You approach me with compassion. – Augustine: “Confessions”

我靈魂的居處是如此狹隘,請將它擴大吧,使袮可以進來。它是這般滿目瘡痍,請袮修葺它。我知道並且承認,裡頭的腐敗不堪,在袮眼中是多麼的可憎。但是誰來清理它呢?除了袮之外我能向誰哭求呢?主啊,求袮清除我隱匿的罪;救袮的僕人脫離敵人的權勢。因為我相信你,我向你呼求,主,只有你了解。

我不是已向袮承認我的罪嗎?袮不是已經赦免了我心中的惡嗎?我不與你爭辯,因袮是真理。但我懼怕我自己的自欺,因我壞透的心甚至對自己自我欺騙。對你的審判我無從爭辯,因為主啊,你若追究我們的罪,誰能站立得住呢?

但是….雖然我只是塵土灰燼,請允許我就你的恩慈來做見證。請允許我說話,讓我在袮的恩典中與袮說話,而不是像個輕視袮的人。其實袮本來可以輕蔑待我,但是袮卻帶著恩賜接近我。- 奧古斯丁 《懺悔錄》

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